Love is a verb

I read a tweet earlier today from a vicar who said that he didn't feel sure about the idea of falling in love. He thought that people really fall in 'lust' or 'attraction', but that love is a verb and is something we 'choose' to do.

And I thought that all sounded a bit grim. He takes something that's romantic and squashes it down to something earthy. 

So I told him.

I said that falling in love with someone who you think is wonderful is thrilling, exciting and overwhelmingly good. It is jolly nice. It makes you feel extremely happy.

Anyway. He ignored my tweet.

I know he has a point. I know that real love is a commitment and requires faithfulness, sometimes doing things you rather wouldn't (or not doing things you'd like). But I don't think that should mean that love isn't the other stuff as well.

Falling in love with my wife was one of the most wonderful experiences in my life and it still is. It was made all the more dramatic and powerful because I trusted God every step of the way, I respected her personal space and didn't make love to her until we were married. In fact, it was 6 months after I first decided she was a wonderful woman before I ventured to ask her for a date. I fell in love with her over many months - at times feeling dizzyingly excited about her, but consistently self-controlled and looking to God for his leading and guidance.

Falling in love with someone shouldn't be denigrated as a brute passion that is uncontrollable. It can be appreciated as one of God's great gifts to us, so long as it is coupled with self-control and seeking God's lead.